When my daughter brought my grandson, who was four at the time, over to see the horses he met Diamond. Dog returned within a short time back to foster home. I literally fell in love with Oreo, the first moment I saw him. She could get up such a head of steam that she literally flew through the air and used the furniture to bank her turns. The following week sister-in-law brings my collie back and doesn’t close the screen door completely and my collie runs out (she hadn’t been a door dasher before) and bites/scratches (according to dog control report) one of the teenagers who parks in front of our house and runs across the street to her house. He is beautiful, nice, nothing wrong but the fear of places. Sorry about all your bad luck with a rescue Sunny Sally, sounds like you have had tough luck all around. (www.patriciamcconnell.com, or of course, amazon) Basics are simple, counter condition your dog to feel good when you leave the house, but success is in the details. Most importantly, I hope the two of you can sit down and be honest and authentic about where to go from here. There is so much info out there, different options and advice. You wake up on day three and think “Holy #%&! But I haven’t gotten any sleep tonight. My fiancé and I have asked ourselves so many times in the last few months if we really picked the right dog or if we did something to unhinge him, despite having the best intentions and it breaks our hearts to consider the latter. The puppy didn’t do anything wrong and the two dogs got along just fine. Also, don’t get a breed that’s more “independent”. i adopted a little maltese mix and she poops and pees in my house all the time. But most of all, get help! I wanted so much a family but it was broken and now I wanted to begin to feel free, free of pain to love, free to begin the work I love, and free to travel if one day they ask me for my work, but I can’t feel it that way if I leave her with me, cause I’d love her too much I know myself I couldn’t be mentally free 100%. Our elder boy took six months to start leaving behind his awful past and to start really bonding with us. He chewed everything. Wish I could be there in person to help you take a breath and take it one day, or better yet, one hour, at a time. After our first Golden died, we rescued an almost two year old golden, not through a rescue organization. But she may not, time to bring in some professionals! There’s nothing anyone can do if they are going to ghost you, but it is indeed a shame. He was a delight, but yappy and wanted to fight it our with our VERY big, ut affable, male German Shepherd (also a second-hand dog.) My daughter volunteers at a horse rescue place. She is house trained and crate trained, so we haven’t had an issue with that. But I am miserable with her as basically I am the only one taking care of her and I just can’t keep it up. The other two dogs and the 17 year old cat and I love her and we are in Open training. Work with a behaviorist It’s always worth engaging a behaviorist when you first bring the dog home to make sure they have the best possible transition. Why We Adopted a Dog and Then Returned Her Sadie was sweet in our home but aggressive when outside; we were in over our heads and had to … She still has her moments and we know that the issues that we cannot overcome, we manage. I so often hear internet ranting about Evil People who give dogs up for adoption, and how _they_ would never give up their dog under any circumstances. [Actually, one reason that Mike and I are still together 26 years is that we went into marriage with the philosophy not of “can we make this work?” but “how can we make this work?” That extra word makes a big, big difference]. Don’t keep living like this, life is hard enough! So my boyfriend said that we would have her. Making statements about “dogs being a life commitment” and how upsetting it is for the animal to go through this. Take a breath, take lots of them. Day one after picking him up I cried non-stop, panic attacks and anxiety. We had 1 day with no accidents in the house or using the pee pads. I’m about to spend lots of money to send her to a board and train program but the flip side is that I am wonder if I should just take her back to the rescue before I do that and let her find a new family who will train her their way. I will now curl up in the fetal position (just like our new fur baby) and pray for time to do it’s thing with my wonky emotions. Perhaps we’re not the right fit for him and vice versa. However, as he is getting older, he is increasingly becoming protective over our property, he’s aggressive with other male dogs that display any dominant-type behavior (any dog looking straight at our boy is a definite ‘we need to get him out of here’ situation) and has begun lunging and barking at the gate that keeps him separated from our cats. Personally, I would never adopt from a rescue agency again. (The groomer would just step back, tell Bella that she had all day to get her groomed, wait for Bella to settle and start in again. She has been out about 1 hour before too. The second time, four years ago, we were assured the dog was good with cats. Patricia McConnell, Ph.D., a Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist, has made a lifelong commitment to improving the relationship between people and animals. I've reached out to the person I gave our dog to and explained to her the situation. I think I’m a dog person I love them alot, all my friends have dogs, everyone knows we have him right now. My guilt of this not working as I’d imagined is overwhelming. Our beloved 14-year-old collie-terrier rescue died just 10 days ago. Otherwise, he’s with us. I was surprised too. He was afraid of some dogs and overly boisterous with others. Think I can skip watering this weekend? About a month ago, we adopted a 6 month old retriever. Our last dog was 80 pounds of sugar but passed away just over 5 years ago (14 + yrs old). She is friendly and playful, but our resident surviving dog doesn’t want to play. Currently, she’s in day boarding while she heals from her spay scars. Ninety-nine percent of them have gone on to have long and happy relationships with their new family members. Second, decide how long you can wait to see if she settles down. Wishing you some peace and joy for today. Daytime she does the same thing crying and barking for about 10 mins if uncrated and then settles down into her dog bed. Terms & Conditions | Other times it is a treat. But who could resist the bond between boy and dog? I just found you last night and have read much of your blog, this post 4 times along with the comments, and bought your ebook on rescuing the older/adolescent dog. Ten minutes later a guy in a red pick up drove straight into the tree at 55 mph, even though the road was clear for at least 300 yards and you couldn’t miss the monster tree blocking your path if you tried. Right now she does go to some daycare, but not everyday (really that shouldn’t be how a pet is part of a family anyway should it?). Knew within a few days it wasn’t a good fit — this pup needed a more active lifestyle. Reading Time: 3 mins, 38 secs. I ended the walk by forcibly bringing him inside. I’d rather spend the big bucks and potentially have a higher chance of getting a fairly healthy animal from a reputable breeder. . So yesterday we brought home a 13 week old puppy. Couldn’t trust him. With dogs she stares at them with such interest that the other dogs feel threatened and immediately start barking and lunging at her in which scenario she does the same in return. Bo is reactive sometimes when he sees other dogs or people. And in the same way parents of new human babies feel overwhelmed, parents of puppies can too, especially if they’re not prepared for what’s coming. When I adopted her I was told she was house trained and crate trained and although she may have the occasional adjustment accident this would fizzle out. To see this page as it is meant to appear, please enable your Javascript! It just takes a bit of organizing but it’s worth it to most of us. We’d never had a dog before (my last one was when I was a teenager and if I’m honest don’t think we were great dog owners… I sure didn’t do much caretaking) …But I love my friends’ dogs, I’ve envied the companionship I know they provide, and I thought my kids deserved to know the love of a dog. She has 1st hand, traumatic experience with TinTin, so bad that once one of her techs had to lay on the floor in a closet with TinTin to keep him calm. mostly potty trained, liked to play, crate trained). Even so he managed to bite a neighbor. We’ve enrolled in several training classes: one of dog sports and another focused on fly ball. I can’t say enough about working with a good trainer who is skilled at reading dog body language. There is a triplet theme, but I agree with Jackie D, three years is about right for getting a glimpse of what may be possible. A few weeks ago I came across an adorable pit mix (maybe) pup from the same rescue I adopted my first from. I thought, “Hallelujah I don’t have another dog reactive dog! And, about that “next family”–I can not tell you how many people I’ve worked with hesitated to rehome a dog because they didn’t believe there was someone else out there who could/would take care of it. If that’s not setting the poor thing up for failure, I don’t know what is. The rescue we got our younger boy from suggested that we start by keeping him quiet at home for the first two weeks and giving him only short walks around the block. I’m a single mom of two kids aged 10 and 7. Well, that’s not exactly how it worked out. I can’t believe I found this post. Predicted to be 100-120 pounds. Even when the pup is in her create they no longer want to sleep on my bed and they generally are both just so upset. We’ve had our rescue for almost a year now, and I still get hit with absolute anxiety and dread over him. We have had her for almost a week. I studied all of Trisha’s books and Debbie Jacobs’ Guide to Livimg With and Training a Fearful Dog. We found out that he wasn’t house trained and had a nasty habit of jumping at people and mouthing (or biting). It was the worst feeling in the world. I did not know what I didn’t know, and I felt that I should have already been two steps ahead. The first two weeks she was true to form, and then the barking began. I’ve started a list of things that can help, but I’m counting on many of you out there in the village to add your good advice to anyone going through this right now. Tiffy brought tons of love, life, and laughter (and lots of barks!) My worry is that we just don’t have enough time to give him. Jim and I, who were out working on our own downed trees stood watching with our mouths agape. I just cannot imagine how my husband is going to resent me if this dog leaves. The rescue organization was very understanding and said sometimes it just doesn’t work. He was also a poorly boy. But OMG(!!!!) I knew that when I took him in, but I feel pretty naive for thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. I wondered if I had ruined the life of my resident dog. I had planned to try and get us an older rescue who wouldn’t need lots of exercise, who would be happy just to chill and be a companion for us all, and for whom we could provide a comfortable loving home. And, by all accounts I seemed to be failing the test. I think I made a mistake, I don’t have the time, nor the patience to train her. Emotions and anxiety definitely set in on day 3. And then he started barking at people (even without dogs). Want a perfectly-obedient dog? It is so easy to beat ourselves up for being human, but dogs forgive us, and they are often wiser than we are, right? So I bought her back from him. After another week of agony, I decided to move forward with officially adopting the puppy and I picked him up on Saturday. Many of my friends have dogs, I talked to them, thought I did my research and felt prepared. My smart, friendly, affectionate boy learned quickly, charmed his trainers and earned his CGC. She’s not just afraid, she panics. We made the decision to bring him back. I’m lost and am stuck between trying to force myself to make this work or making the heartwrechning decision to take her back to the humane society. I know it’s only been one day but I’m already exhausted. My beloved cat died due to a car months ago, it was a shock to me cause it was my baby. Mind you, three of those four rescues were German Shorthaired Pointers (one an oversized doberman puppy) so that tells you I am a little crazy anyways. Appropriate reward for a job well done. But we still went through more than one “can we make it through this” moment. He's 12. Sometimes it’s enough to know that it’s not just you out there batting the issues you’re facing. I don’t know how I am going to survive the next two days. Then I read this post and am drawing in every single word of it. There is nothing wrong about calling the rescue and telling them you made a mistake. You need support, compassion and peace. It’s been only 4 days, he doesn’t go in the house, minimal whining, some barking. Just wanted to send it out to the universe (God in my world) that the ‘right’ dog would find us. And now the dog's stored-up energy needs to be burned off for sanity's sake. We tried to train Jimpa and were patient, but it began to wear down as our efforts didn’t have the desired effects. Your email address will not be published. I’m so glad I came across this whilst looking on the internet, I recently brought home an adult rescue dog 3 days ago, she’s come from Portugal, luckily she is a really calm dog, only issue is she isn’t toilet trained due to living outside in kennels! Certainly not. We knew what would happen if we took him back – strike three at a kill shelter – and felt we had no option but to put him to sleep; at least he was with people who loved him to the end. This has happened most often when she is on the couch or more recently laying in her bed in our rooms. We adopted her from our rescue group this weekend. Then my other, and true self, said, ” What malarky. We haven’t been back since (I don’t think we ever will, trainers and vets have long told me that dog parks are not great places). I am beside myself about a dog my husband fell in love with and we brought home a month ago. I am in love with my new dog and nothing is ever going to separate me from him, but I was a mess for a week. She was a happy social girl – a good “starter” dog. I am hoping this is over for awhile! Maybe it will help someone just starting out in life decide to wait on pet ownership, and maybe it will help others realize that adopting a dog or cat is in fact the right choice for them. A nice, quiet room, crate, toys, bowls, etc. We had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into. But I am feeling at a loss today. Brand new dog owners. They are closely supervised and one or the other is generally in a cat carrier. Thanks for posting so I could read others stories, and while I still feel some guilt and shame, and wonder if I could have pushed through and come out the other side with a wonderful companion, this has helped me see that sometimes it’s also just not a match and I should trust that. I was talking to a trainer friend of mine who observed his mental state and physical state do not align. I thought she had turned the corner as she is not peeing small amts. Don’t feel you have to do this alone. After a few days – in which we all fell in love with him – it became clear that he hated other dogs (except one) and was prepared to rid the world of them. Don’t get husky-types that like to sing the song of their people, will never be perfectly trained, and shed like demons. When I try to turn the light off she make noises because he can’t see me and when I do techniques like covering his crate her cries. I find it helps if you know you have a time limit. You may adjust faster than I do, but there’s still an adjustment period until you’re part of the “in” people. There has not been one minute that I ever regretted it. This little guy has the BEST temperament and would make a perfect therapy dog, especially for kids or older folks. It looks tiny, but I’d guess at least 1,000 pounds of tree fell from it. After a week, my anxiety passed and perspective returned. All went well, fortunately, as Diamond is a sweet, patient, attention loving dog. Fearful dogs get sensitive, gradual exposure to whatever they are afraid of. Best decision I ever made, trusting my instincts. My actions led to my dog’s death, and I deeply regret what happened. It’s always worth engaging a behaviorist when you first bring the dog home to make sure they have the best possible transition. This page popped up and I did, I had laughed out loud. A canine that loses their lust for life, and will not eat…, Owners often find that dogs are restless and pace about when they want your urgent attention. But here I am, on Day 3, crying in bed. I adopted a dog and didn’t know about the first few days anxiety and I after 1 day took him back and immediately knew I made a mistake and have been begging the rescue to forgive me and to let me go get him..trying to explain the anxiety took over and I made a rash decision and wanted him back…the rescue won’t talk to me. I can logic my way through this by saying things like “it was a dog fight and she didn’t hurt the other dog, thats good at least”, “if she gets out, you will be able to manage her”. I didn’t know why I was having so much anxiety making the decision. She bit a neighbor who came up behind her on the sidewalk while she was on a 6 foot leash- one and done. To make things worse he had no way of communicating with us to figure out what’s acceptable behavior for us. We were told he was a pretty mellow dog that did very well on walks and could even be let off leash. He’s perfect and lovely and I want to make this work. I am so worried that it will end up with us having to rehome her to someone who can do this but I don’t want this! My barn cats have become completely traumatized at the very sound of distant thunder! He continued to get worse, and we began in earnest on desensitization/counter-conditioning training daily. 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